And so we arrive at the third of my impromptu “Real Good Chocolate and Stuff” posts.
Otherwise known as the second in my unknowingly witty “Bars With Bites Chomped out of Them” posts.
I’m not sure what the Natural Living Center is trying to tell me – was life better when I bought my chocolates intact? Or do I prefer having little round-toothed gnomes take nibbly tastes before packaging up their delicacies and sending them my way? Hmm.
This bar looks festive, no? And really, who wouldn’t want a Wild Rumpus (shout out to my favorite kids’ bookstore!) of boars going hog wild on/with their chocolate? My chocolate? I can’t think of anyone.
The situation: 70% Wild B(o)ar, by Hagensborg Chocolates of BC, Canada.
The details: Billed “A ravenous feast of Santo Domingo dark chocolate! Exotic dark chocolate with a very strong cocoa taste.” Also note that this is a single origin chocolate bar. And that it’s made from “all natural ingredients,” which means nothing to me. Where are the “all fake ingredients” chocolates at?
You may know of Hagensborg Chocolates for their well-loved Truffle Pigs. Or, you may not. Either way, they are from Canada [insert national anthem here]. That said, I was slightly saddened to find no maple leaves on this product, as I thought it was Canadian law that all Canadian things (products, services, children, seasons 1-5 of the X-Files and half the episodes of Highlander filmed in-country) be branded with Canadian maple leaves. Having come to the realization that this may not be the case, I decided to include my own American maple leaves in the photo shoot. Psshaww.
I opened this bar’s nondescript brown wrapper, and POW! No really, I wrote this down. For aroma, all I have noted is “POW! chocolatey.” I was already getting a sense of the very strong cocoa taste I had been warned about, and all I was doing was sniffing it. How exciting!
I took my first bite. After chomping and munching my way through the snappy snap crunchiness of this solid bar, my next notes were that this chocolate was earthy and acrid. There were flavors I couldn’t identify. I tried to come up with words, when suddenly – –
Riker is infected by an unidentified microbe!
It’s not a bacteria….. and not a virus……. but contains elements of both!
It’s multiplying at an incredible rate!
The organisms fuse to the nerve, intertwining at the molecular level!! (That’s why the transporter’s biofilters weren’t able to extract it!)
Oh, I’m sorry. I was briefly interrupted by the Season 2 finale of Star Trek: The Next Generation. The episode, of course, is Shades of Gray. Star Date 42976.1. One of the worst TNG episodes out there. Writers’ strikes sure besmirch fine television; they result in monstrosities such as this. And no, I wasn’t watching as I typed this up. I was watching as I wrote my tasting notes. 1/4 of the page is covered in chocolate-based mentionings, while 3/5 is covered in these Star Trek quotes. How much of the piece of paper remains blank?
Image courtesy of The Daily Drew.
Back to trying to figure out another word for “earthy.” To me, this chocolate seemed bitter, but sweet. It had a silky aftertaste on my tongue. I noticed a sharp acrid sense in the back of my throat, but that may have been the effects of this morning’s Benadryl wearing off.
The taste was strong, I guess. It sort of reminded me of unsweetened cocoa powder, but with sweetness added. What, you don’t eat your unsweetened cocoa powder?
Feeling at a bit of a loss as to how to better describe this, I started snooping around. All Chocolate dot com enlightened me that Santo Domingo is the same thing as the Dominican Republic. Mmm, yes. But when it came to tasting notes, all they could provide me with was “deep earthy flavor.” A-ha! So “deep” is the word I must have been searching for. Oh, wait. There’s more.
They suggested notes of tobacco, as well as delicate red wine and spice notes. Now while I do know what unsweetened cocoa powder tastes like, I can’t say I know about the finer intricacies of tobacco. So I can’t tell you if this tastes tobacco-y or not. However, this chocolate does remind me of the Mast Brothers Dominican Republic bar. Interestingly, Mast Bros claims that “you would swear we added sweet pipe tobacco, cherries and a bottle of cabernet to every batch.” Now, a whole bottle of cabernet doesn’t sound very delicate…
Regardless of what I do or don’t pick up on in this bar, I know that I like it. For a 70% dark chocolate bar, it finishes smoothly, and has a sweetness that matches its pucker. Or its POW, if you will.
For more on Hagensborg Chocolates, you can always tune into the self-proclaimed Hagensborg Chocolate Princess’ Diary. Slightly strange, yes. But it’s either that or more (prime) direct(ive) Star Trek quotes. Take your pick.
Get yerself some hags ‘n’ boars:
Hagensborg Chocolates Ltd.
Unit 103 – 3686 Bonneville Place
Canada V3N 4T6
I’ll hand it to them. I like the design of this bar, and the packaging as well. One li’l nitpicky point of contention: they’ve mislabeled their own product, as Santa Domingo rather than Santo Domingo. Actually, they label it both ways. Fix it, guys, and I’ll buy some more of your chocolate!
[Side note: Who knew Santo Domingo was this much of a metropolis?? Wow.]
Are there more chocolates out there with bites missing from them? Aside from Fearless and Hagensborg Wild Boar? If so, I want to chomp, munch, and gobble them to pieces!